Thursday, November 20, 2014

Observations on Florida

Okay, this post took about four months to write. I started it when I first got here and any time I noticed something about Florida I just wrote it down and saved it. Each paragraph was written at a different time. So it's random. And weird. And makes me look like an idiot at times.

The drivers truly are awful. People keep telling me it is because of all the old people here but they are fooling themselves. Everyone speeds about 20 over which on its own doesn't bother me. However, they also follow about two and a half feet from the car in front of them. Added to the fact that no one uses turn signals or stops for stop signs and it all equals to a lot of totaled cars here. Not going to lie, the freeways scare me.

I've been told that it is not illegal to talk on the phone while driving which shocks me to my very core but even if that is not true, no one bothers to put down their phone when they drive by a cop. So at the very least, it is not enforced.

Also, there seems to be a very lazy attitude about DUI's. All my neighbors seem to have no problem driving to the store half toasted and at least a few of my classmates have driven completely drunk without feeling like they were lucky not to get arrested. Coming from a state where you can get a reckless driving ticket for driving after drinking EVEN if you are way below the legal limit for a DUI, well it freaks me out.

On second thought, I definitely don't believe it's the old people that cause all the accidents here. It's the young and stupid, talking on their cell phones while being half drunk. Good Grief.

On a different track:
The laundry rooms in a lot of houses are outside! It makes sense when you realize that you don't want it heating up your house but doesn't make sense when you hop out of the shower and realize you need that shirt you left in the dryer.

Coming from a city where most of the year you had to turn on the heat, the fact that all the vents are near the ceiling is a weird change. I understand that it's because most of the year we have the central AC on but it was strange not having to arrange my furniture around the floor vents.

Also, I turned on my furnace for the first time the other day and it set off my fire alarm. Why did it set off my fire alarm? Because my landlord installed it four inches from a vent. Not a problem when the AC is on, very big problem when the heat is on.

It is five degrees in my hometown right now and 70 here in Florida. That 70 degrees, which only a few short months ago would have been beautiful weather has left me freezing and wearing sweaters and wool socks. I'm pretty sure I am broken for life.

There is something that looks like a shower rod in every shower. At first I was like, why would someone put the towel in the shower, it'd get all wet. Floridians are stupid. And then someone told me it's for the bath mat. Okay, I am the stupid one. Sorry Floridians. And also, the humidity here makes everything moldy ridiculously quick. I opened up a bag of beef jerky, zipplocked what I didn't eat and three days later I had a fuzzy green science experiment. So if you are in Florida in the summer, eat ALL the beef jerky in one sitting. And don't leave the k-cup in the keurig until your next cup of coffee. Bleck! And hang up your bathmat after your shower.

If you live in Florida and it gets down to 50 degrees, your professor will joke that his hands are frostbitten and all your classmates will be like "OMG really? Are you okay?" And you'll be sitting there going "It's 50 degrees! There is no frost!" Don't get me wrong, I'm freezing at 50 degrees but it's not going to kill me or give me frostbite!

The lizards here are suicidal. They will be perfectly calm, just chilling on the sidewalk. Until you walk by and then they dart right under your shoe. Those suckers can move fast! I've become the designated lizard watcher for a friend because she has a really bad habit of squishing them underfoot.

I miss basements. Basements are perfect for storing random crap that you don't want to see but can't bear to throw away. It wouldn't be so bad if there were garages but at least in the area I live in, they are rare. So I have boxes of stuff in the corner of my living room and a bike blocking my way to the spare room closet.

Most of these things are not complaints. I love it here! The drivers are crazy but I live five minutes from the beach. This is something I can live with. <3 <3 <3

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